Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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