It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
