that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Damn victory sex feels great
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
