friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
