I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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