That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
