I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
