ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
