can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
