Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
