i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
They took my balls.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
