He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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