So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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