You really coming over, don't trick.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
