My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.