please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.