I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me