Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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