I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it