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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.

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• (951): View more from California

  So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

  (909): View more from California

  dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (818): View more from California

  Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party

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• (949): View more from California

  I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?

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• (310): View more from California

  Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."

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• (561): View more from Florida

  My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children

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• (707): View more from California

  I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"

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