Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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