it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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