I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
