I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
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