the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
