I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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