ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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