I puked a lego.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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