Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
