I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
