idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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