He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize