I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
