Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
