piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
