I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
