my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
