it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
whose parrot is this?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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