with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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