areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
