she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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