Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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