They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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