There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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