shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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