hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
