Got a toothbrush?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize