well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
