their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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