My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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