oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
