my being single is dangerous.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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