Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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