All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
