You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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