JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
