is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
