I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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