And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
