How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
this just has baby written all over it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
