im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
