Pappa wants mamma naked
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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