So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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