therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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