Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
