doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize