U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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